On the weirdest thing a journalist has said to her: “‘You’re ugly and fat, and that is so refreshing to us.’ I’m like, ‘What are you saying to me, sir?’ “Well, we’re used to skinny people, and you’re so ugly and refreshing.’ That’s not a question, sir.”

On the weirdest thing a journalist has said to her: “‘You’re ugly and fat, and that is so refreshing to us.’ I’m like, ‘What are you saying to me, sir?’ “Well, we’re used to skinny people, and you’re so ugly and refreshing.’ That’s not a question, sir.”

(Source: kelly-kapoor)

4,181 notes

stellarnomdeplume:

When I was a sophomore in high school some tiny little freshman I had never seen before walked up and asked for permission to sit with me and my friends (funfacts: i have never been cool. no one would ever ask permission to sit with me or my friends if they even slightly knew us) and in my MOST SARCASTIC VOICE I said “Sure, if you pay the toll” and without another word she dropped a bunch of Reece’s pieces in my hand

And that’s the story of how i got free candy every school day for a year and a half

2 notes

When I was a sophomore in high school some tiny little freshman I had never seen before walked up and asked for permission to sit with me and my friends (funfacts: i have never been cool. no one would ever ask permission to sit with me or my friends if they even slightly knew us) and in my MOST SARCASTIC VOICE I said “Sure, if you pay the toll” and without another word she dropped a bunch of Reece’s pieces in my hand

2 notes

Salome dances her dance of the seven veils,
The men all eye her like wolves on the hunt, this beautiful girl
finally undressing for them. Finally they can see her
exactly as they want to.
The first veil drops.

In 2007, Kim Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend
released their sex tape against her will.
Kim Kardashian, rather than hide in shame
Used the publicity to promote her own career.

Salome moves like a dream half-remembered.
Salome dances like a siren song. All the men ache
to see the hot sugar of her hip bones.
The second veil drops.

In 2014, Kim Kardashian walks down the aisle
As the whole world watches. If only all of us
were so successful in our revenge.
If only all of us stood in our Louboutin heels
on the backs of the men who betray us,
surveying the world we created for ourselves.

The third veil drops.

Kim Kardashian knows exactly what you think of her.
She presses the cloth tighter against her skin
Her smile is a promise she never intends to keep

We can almost see all of her.
Salome shows us her body
but never her eyes.
The fourth veil is dropping.

The four things most recently tweeted at Kim Kardashian were
@KimKardashian Suck My Dick
@Kim Kardashian Can I Meet Kanye?
@KimKardashian Please Fuck Me
@KimKardashian I Love You. I Love You.

Women are told to keep their legs shut.
Women are told to keep their mouths shut.
Some women are kept silent for so long,
They become experts in the silent theft of power.
The fifth veil has dropped.

Kim Kardashian made $12 million dollars this year
Yesterday, uncountable men in their miserable jobs,
told their miserable friends that Kim was a “dumb whore”
Kim Kardashian will never learn their names.

The sixth veil has dropped.
The seventh veil has dropped.

And Salome sat beside King Herod. And he swore unto her
“Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give to thee
unto the half of my kingdom”
And she smiled, and said
“Bring me the head of John The Baptist.
Punish the man who hurt me”

17,755 notes

1,659 plays

tailsgif:

Remix 8 || Rhythm Heaven (DS)

165 notes

snowmercury:

hauntedpamplemousse:

orcasoup:

those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent

lesbionage

bi spy 

it’s an ace case

68,882 notes

Welsh Incident

apoemaday:

by Robert Graves

'But that was nothing to what things came out
From the sea-caves of Criccieth yonder.’
'What were they? Mermaids? dragons? ghosts?'
'Nothing at all of any things like that.'
'What were they, then?'
                                      ‘All sorts of queer things,
Things never seen or heard or written about,
Very strange, un-Welsh, utterly peculiar
Things. Oh, solid enough they seemed to touch,
Had anyone dared it. Marvellous creation,
All various shapes and sizes, and no sizes,
All new, each perfectly unlike his neighbour,
Though all came moving slowly out together.’
'Describe just one of them.'
                                             ‘I am unable.’
'What were their colours?'
                                           ‘Mostly nameless colours,
Colours you’d like to see; but one was puce
Or perhaps more like crimson, but not purplish.
Some had no colour.’
                                    ‘Tell me, had they legs?’
'Not a leg or foot among them that I saw.'
'But did these things come out in any order?'
What o’clock was it? What was the day of the week?
Who else was present? How was the weather?’
'I was coming to that. It was half-past three
On Easter Tuesday last. The sun was shining.
The Harlech Silver Band played Marchog Jesu
On thrity-seven shimmering instruments
Collecting for Caernarvon’s (Fever) Hospital Fund.
The populations of Pwllheli, Criccieth,
Portmadoc, Borth, Tremadoc, Penrhyndeudraeth,
Were all assembled. Criccieth’s mayor addressed them
First in good Welsh and then in fluent English,
Twisting his fingers in his chain of office,
Welcoming the things. They came out on the sand,
Not keeping time to the band, moving seaward
Silently at a snail’s pace. But at last
The most odd, indescribable thing of all
Which hardly one man there could see for wonder
Did something recognizably a something.’
'Well, what?'
                    ‘It made a noise.’
                                                  ‘A frightening noise?’
'No, no.'
               ‘A musical noise? A noise of scuffling?’
'No, but a very loud, respectable noise—
Like groaning to oneself on Sunday morning
In Chapel, close before the second psalm.’
'What did the mayor do?'
                                           ‘I was coming to that.’

23 notes

covergirl:

It’s National Piña Colada Day, so it’s only fitting that we should celebrate in #EasyBreezyBeautiful style.

covergirl:

It’s National Piña Colada Day, so it’s only fitting that we should celebrate in #EasyBreezyBeautiful style.

1,252 notes

mystsaphyr:

robotmoxie:

"no, we want to put a different character in our movie!" the animator screams

but it’s too late

rapunzel has stormed the office and is knocking over furniture

"give me the helmet," she snarls, shaking a mocap actor by the ping-pong balls

3,960 notes

aspidosecalis:

incompleteicarus:

Ex queen turned pirate being hunted down by the king’s men and naming her all female ship “the clit” and when asked why she replies, because the king will never find it.

Rival lesbian pirate finds ship immediately. Alliance is formed in no time.

68,407 notes

darknessbloodyshadow123:

cloudsinmycoffee9:

this is literally the greatest subtitling job that has ever been done. someone learned how to speak cat.

*laughs irl*

(Source: iraffiruse)

129,152 notes